Biting

Biting often starts when infants begin getting their teeth. They will just one day randomly try to take a chunk out of your neck or arm just to sort of see what happens. If you give off an entertaining yelp or “What for?” they are probably going to keep on doing it to get similar reactions. So, the quickest way to extinguish this behavior is to give them the opposite of attention, either by trying to remain silent and changing activities immediately to something they may not entirely be down for or saying, “No biting” or “Ow, that hurts!” in a Pitbull-style voice to engage the frontal cortex and amygdala (the parts that deal with fight or flight, social cues, and cause-effect relationships) and then immediately change activities. If we were all still pack animals, this would be the time when our wolf cubs would be playing roughhouse with their buddies, and if they bite a little too hard, they would get a nip back or be kept out of their game/ignored for a bit to let them know, Nah, we don’t play that way, Jr!

As they get older, we all get that call at some point during daycare and preschool. Our usually loving kiddo either bit their best buddy or they got bitten by their best buddy. Before kids get a good handle on communication, biting is often used as a last (sometimes first) resort for letting their friends know they are displeased with the current happenings. They know that when they bite they usually get some sort of interesting reaction or immediate attention, which is also the reason kids throw temper tantrums. How do I get what I want or get noticed the fastest? This is very normal and should not be cause for alarm for the vast majority of kids. Oftentimes kids will grow out of this knee-jerk reaction when they can verbalize their concerns quicker or, more commonly, when they get bit by one of their friends and realize Oh dude, that is what that whole biting thing feels like. Well, that is a bummer, maybe I should not do that.

But in sum, biting, hitting kicking, and mean stares are all par for the course at this age when they are figuring out more effective ways to communicate. The less attention given to the incidents the better.