Picky Eating
My kids used to be such good eaters, and then, around 18 months of age, they turned into food snobs. And I can’t really blame them. Their bodies and brains are telling them to become picky around this age for a few reasons that we can’t really control as parents.
The first is an evolutionary protection mechanism that kicks in for most kids around 18ish months of age or, more accurately, when they are able to run away from their parents. Once a kiddo is able to explore areas kind of far from parents, their palate sort of resets to protect themselves. We don’t want kiddos who are able to run away to just start eating everything off the forest floor. So in nature, what are the usual nonpoisonous things? The boring beige bland starchy things, right? So what do kids readily accept on their new gatekeeper palates? Beige bland starchy things. Also, around 18ish months, kids learn that they can have opinions and preferences. They are naturally going to want to get that sugary starchy thing (often beige in color) over something with a more distinct taste like a leafy green vegetable.
Next, the kiddo’s brain is still in caveperson mode, rewarding it for getting as much of these sugary starchy things as possible. Why? Because it does not know that there are things called grocery stores that allow for these sources of simple sugar and fast energy to be readily available at any time and that we don’t need to hoard these foods for hibernating in the winter.
So these things make for a picky eater. And none of them are the fault of the parent doing their best to offer yummy healthy foods for their toddler.
What we can control as parents is how we respond to these young foodies. First, tell yourself over and over again that an otherwise healthy kiddo (with no genetic abnormality in metabolism) will not let themselves starve. It would take weeks of a kiddo eating no solid food for me to even start to notice bad stuff happening in their bodies on exam or lab tests. (Hydration, on the other hand, is a different story; kids always need to stay hydrated.) So, a kiddo having a hunger strike for one dinner because they only want french fries, but you served up broccoli, is not going to do much to their bodies other than make them more hungry for a healthy breakfast in the morning.
Your job as a parent is not to make your child eat. It is to provide healthy food throughout the day and allow your child the opportunity to fill their bellies with good nutrition. Try to split the plate in 3rds or 4ths with maybe something you know that the kiddo will eat to sort of get the appetite going, but if that gets finished, then we don’t get a refill until we at least make a good try/taste of all the other things on the plate. This also means limiting those easy carbs/starches that kids can preferentially pick off their plate (pasta, rice, bread, potatoes) and/or snack on all day in the form of various crackers (Goldfish, Veggie Straws, puffs, etc.). Kids need to be a bit hungry to want to eat something not sugary or starchy or to try something new. Oftentimes it takes 12-16 times of reintroduction of a food on the palate before that kiddo’s brain is like OK, I guess it isn’t poison, and I can eat it and get nutrition from it. This need to reteach the palate also allows us as parents to slowly acquaint the palate with good-for-you foods by hiding them in things like sauces and smoothies. Once the palate and nose don’t associate that taste and smell with possible poison, then those kids are much more likely to give that broccoli a second chance on their plate when they see and smell it in front of them in the open. They don’t recoil due to those previous repeated (hidden) exposures.
Also, the Americanized 3 meals a day is a very newish thing in terms of the history of eating. Most young kids will take a while before their tummy gets used to this spacing of meals. So mealtime should be reinforced as a time to sit and talk about life as a family and what everyone did that day. This also lets kids know that if they decide to say no to everything on their plate that does not mean it’s a free pass to go play with their toys or watch TV. Family meal time is just as important for family bonding and family health as it is for nutrition for children; often it is the only daily occurrence of family bonding that we can make time to cherish. That means no smartphones or screens during mealtime to help reiterate this point for both kiddos and parents alike.